Familiarity is so not overrated

I think there is a lot to be said for feeling safe with somebody. I am one of those people that loves the thrill of unrequited love and the danger of taking things too far too fast. I'm young, it's fun, and it keeps me entertained, that's for sure. But there's also the downside of being hurt by those people. It's like you can see the letdown coming a mile away, but it still hurts like hell when someone tosses your heart aside to move onto their own new thrill. Anyway, my year can pretty much be summed up by a stream of these roller-coaster almost-relationships. However there is one person that sticks out in my mind that has been different than the rest. I will refer to him as Ted. Last year we went on a few dates and hung out a lot for a bit of time, but I was just never that into it. I got the feeling that he wanted to get serious pretty quickly, and I was absolutely not looking for a relationship. There was never a dramatic end to things, but I guess that's because there was nothing really to end. We just sort of stopped talking as much and we didn't ask each other to go out anymore. I think it was pretty mutual. So we stayed friends, and we would talk every now and then and we would run into each other randomly on campus and such. So anyways. Enough of the background. Basically I never really gave him a second thought since then.

Until last night. My sorority had a party with his fraternity, and so I ended up talking to him the majority of the night. It was good to talk to him again- I had forgotten how easy he was to talk to and how much fun I could have with him. After the party we split ways, but he told me that he was having people over to his house, so that idea was kind of in the back of my mind. But I started flirting with this new cute guy from out of town, and he seemed pretty into me. We ended up making out a bit and dancing, but then he started shoving his hands down my pants in the middle of the bar, and was overall being very creepy. I decided not to completely write him off because he was damn attractive, and, well, I was smashed. His friend said that he knew the bouncer at a bar that was 21 and up and could get me in, so I headed that way with them. Of course, when we get there, I can't get in. I also decided that the guy was a total creep and I didn't want to spend any more time than necessary with him so I called Ted. I told him the guys I was with were being assholes and I needed somewhere to go and I asked if I could head over there. Details of the conversation are neither important nor remembered, but long story short within five minutes I was on my way to his house.

When I got there everyone had already left, but Ted seemed more than happy to see me and was fine with me staying for a bit. So we sat on the couch and talked for a bit, and it was really nice. I felt safe after having been around that creeper, and the familiarity of spending time with him felt great. Of course, as we had both been drinking and we kind of seemed to have a reconnection moment, we ended up kissing. And then making out. And then moving to the bedroom and making out more. (Maybe I should point out now to anyone who may read this that I am in fact still a virgin. I tell a lot of stories about hooking up with people and random flings, but amongst all of my drunken "one night stands" and going home with the wrong people I have yet to have sex. Personal choice.) Anyways, after a while we were obviously tired since it was probably about three in the morning, so we snuggled up and went to sleep. And again, just being in his arms and knowing that he had no hidden agenda and wasn't simply hooking up with me to get some ass felt so safe. It was the best feeling I've had in a while. What can I say? Sometimes I just need a good snuggle.

So now it is the next day and I'm trying to figure out what to do. I don't want to get back together with him. I don't even think I want to make out with him again. But I think more of a friendship than we have had this past year is probably worth pursuing. I don't know. I guess we will have to see what happens tonight :)