You can't fake that kind of chemistry

Kissing is fun. I think everyone who has ever kissed anyone can agree with that. Well, almost. I mean, some people are really bad kissers and can leave a bad impression. But that's not what I'm getting at. Every once in a while you kiss someone and it is way more than just four lips touching. More than just two people sharing a romantic moment. It's fireworks, sparks, all that cheesy Harlequin crap. And kissing that person pretty much ruins kissing anyone else for you. No other kiss afterwards will be quite as thrilling. Because when you're standing outside your front door after a perfect date, standing on your tiptoes to reach their lips and pressing your body against theirs as you experience one of the best kisses in your life, you feel that kiss everywhere. That kiss is not just in the lips. It reaches down to your toes. It makes your head spin. It makes you never want to come up for air. It makes you realize, in that instant, what everyone is talking about when they talk about having chemistry with someone. And when you walk away, you are still so affected by that kiss that you can't quite walk straight. And once it's all over, whether it was a summer fling that naturally came to an end or a bad breakup that left both of you crushed, you never forget that kiss. You crave the chemistry that you felt with that person and are afraid you will never find again. You believe you would give just about anything to kiss them one more time, just to feel that fire race through your body at that mere touch and the tingle that reaches all the way to your fingers and toes when they pull you in close. And until finally, one day, you do forget the sensation of that person's lips on yours, no other kiss will compare to theirs.

How am I supposed to find a title for this?

He died about four years ago right around this time. I guess I don't really have much to say anymore, because I didn't know him that well to begin with. It was just a high school crush. But I felt the need to at least say something, just to remember him for a minute. I never thought that I would get over losing him, over the pain of someone passing away far too young. I mean, he was only 19. I do still think about him now and then, but it doesn't hurt anymore. Time really does heal everything.


R.I.P. Ryan M.

Happy? What's that?

I smiled today for the first time in a long time. Ok well that's not technically true. I force a smile every day, all day. But today I was on my way home from class and a song came on my iPod that I really like. And after a few seconds I realized that I was smiling. And that I was genuinely happy. And then when I was watching TV I laughed out loud and found the jokes actually funny.

Usually I wouldn't think twice about these things. But lately I have been so down that it was kind of monumental today. And realizing that I was happy made me even more happy.

Anyways. Maybe not interesting or entertaining, but I felt a need to put this into writing so I would remember today :) That's all.

Incest is Subjective

Ok, according to the law, it isn't. But I do have a point. It seems that most people end up having someone in their lives that they consider a brother or a sister even though they are not related. But then what happens when you grow up and realize that you are perfect for each other? That no one knows you quite like they do? That you may not have realized it before, but wow, they look damn fine. That's when things get complicated. I mean, it's practically incest!

So let me back up. Seventh grade. New Kid at school walks in the door. He's the hottest thing since Dave became basketball captain last month. Everyone wants him. And he wants you. It's great. Or at least it should be, but you're too wrapped up in Billy to notice that New Kid wants you. That's pretty much the beginning of my story. There's a whole lot more to that part of it, but that's not the point right now.

Despite my idiocy and inability to recognize that he was actually interested in me, New Kid and I became really good friends. The kind of friend that lasts. Sometime in eighth grade, his family had some troubles and we offered the extra rooms in our house to them because we had become pretty close with them. New Kid had a brother, Tattoos, that was in my sister's grade. They also had two younger siblings, and their mom was pretty close with my mom. They lived with us for a couple weeks where we all became even closer. They became our family. So fastforward to the present day.

New Kid has a girlfriend, so no, that's not where this is going. Bet that's what you thought, wasn't it? Well you were wrong. Tattoos. Is. Hot. He grew up quite well. And I am lucky enough work with him when I am home over the summer. And it seems that we tend to be on the same page quite often when it comes to troubles with the opposite sex. And there is definitely some flirtatiousness when summer rolls around and work gets boring. But it all comes down to incest. It would be so weird for us to be together because he's practically my brother. His family is my family. So I will continue to admire from afar, and one of these days we'll both find someone and we will both be happy and I will forget all about my incestuous thoughts. And plus, if we did end up together, then Florida Bitch would be my sister-in-law. And THAT is just not acceptable.