Rules were made to be broken?

So I have several basic rules for myself when it comes to relationships.

Rule one: I don't do relationships.

If I happen to break that rule, I have a few rules to follow it.

Rule two: I don't date younger.
Rule three: I don't do long distance.

Really those are all that are important right now. And the reason is, I am breaking all of these rules at once. But I think I like it. I'll keep you updated on how it goes ;)

Moving Out

So it's time for a new apartment.

The dishes in the sink, I could deal with. The clutter everywhere, I could handle. Even the loud crazy nights with random guests, I could put up with.

The complete disrespect for me as a person? Absolutely not. And the temper tantrums, and the middle school attitude and the constant mocking, that I cannot deal with. I mean who flips out and stomps around and slams doors because their roommate forgot that they watch Gossip Girl at 8 every Monday and happened to turn on House at the same time? If there had been a rational discussion involved, I would have gladly gone to my room to watch House. But no. Immediate temper tantrum.

And when a fourth roommate asks you and the five random guys that you have in the living room at five in the morning to please be quiet so they can sleep, who bangs on the wall and mocks them loud enough for the whole building to hear and slam cupboards and stomp around just to spite them?

Not to mention a complete blow up after a sign above the sink asking please and thank you put your dishes in the dishwasher.

And having the apartment trashed and your roommates expecting you to clean it up and being completely bewildered when you don't.

And you asking your roommate to pick up something for you and having her respond "well I can't cater to your every need so don't expect me to always be able to do favors for you".

And those are just a minority of the examples I could give. Just the tip of the iceberg, most recent examples. Trust me, there are plenty more where those came from.

I never expected a perfect roommate. I mean, I have admittedly done things that are less than mature. But I mean come on, these two roommates are acting like children. You can't make this stuff up. I have never imagined that any person who is 21 years old would act like that. It is honestly like watching an ill-mannered five year old when their mother refuses them a piece of candy in the checkout lane in the grocery store. It's absolutely ridiculous.

So in light of that behavior, on top of the personal attacks I have been getting from my roommate who is also my former best friend here at school, I have been working on moving out of this apartment. I don't think I should be expected to live like this. And that's all I have to say I guess :-P

Exposé

Wow, it's been awhile. And there's been lots going on. I am going to use this opportunity to uncover the truths about sorority stereotypes, at least as far as my experience has shown me.

So people tend to believe that sorority girls are a bunch of overly tanned fake blondes who only wear designer clothes and have their daddy's credit card and don't eat and are stupid bitches who drink and sleep around.

I have discovered that in part, this is true. Not so much the image part of the equation, but definitely the personality. I have always been optimistic about my chapter (which, for many reasons, will remain unnamed), but after being in a room with the majority of my sorority sisters for 13 hours at a time for five days for recruitment, I am starting to get a little cynical. Or should I say, a lot cynical.

Before I dive in to all the shit, let me start by saying this much. I am really involved in my sorority, and I plan to stay involved. They are honestly the reason I am still at school this semester... I wanted to take a semester off but I decided that I cared more about my responsibility in the sorority than I did about all the crap I've been dealing with outside of it. So that said, let the shit hit the fan.

First of all, here is my theory on sluttiness/drinking/etc... that tends to be the reputation of sorority girls. I think that the greek system is an overall representation of the campus and if you really looked at it, the percentage of girls who are sluts or drunks or druggies in the greek system is probably the same as on campus. However, it is magnified by the fact that it is a smaller concentration of college women and the fact that they tend to be more visible on campus as a group. So yea, there are a lot of sluts and drunks and druggies, but no more than on the rest of campus.

Point number two. That whole idea of sisterhood and being really close with the girls in the sorority and always having each other's backs? Bullshit. Let me start by saying that there are so many cliques that are impossible to break into, and yes, it goes back to the high school dynamic of the popular girls v. everyone else. There is a definite hierarchy and unless you make herculean efforts, it is really hard to move up in the system. I have been lucky enough to make said herculean efforts, and I actually have moved up. And honestly, I like being near the top. Aside from all that high school crap, let me tell you that there is no way you can trust anyone in the sorority. The only experience I have had is backstabbing and abandonment from my friends. Not to say that I'm a perfect angel, but come on. I actually left middle school the good part of a decade ago. I wish everyone else would.

And then there is the trash talking. Sorority against sorority. It's a bunch of crap. Just because a different group of girls wears a different set of letters than you, doesn't mean that they are a better or worse person. They are just different and fit in with different girls than you do. Not much else to say on that.

Hazing... yea we actually don't do that. Some girls do, but as a campus and as a sorority we are very much against it.

And then there are the politics. Absolutely ridiculous. The girls in power have way too much power, and the girls not in power have absolutely zero. Which is one reason why I got a position this year. I'd like to have a say in how things go down. Even with a position, there is so much going on behind the scenes that I don't know about. Especially with recruitment- things like hiding girls by sending them home and being very careful about who picks up what girls when they walk in the door so that we only get "good" people. AKA pretty people.

Now, after I have bitched about my sorority and said how awful it is, I will also say that I am so glad I am involved. It has given me many opportunities that I would not have had otherwise. And I have met so many people through the sorority that have become great friends. My big sister from the sorority is one of my favorite people in the world, and we honestly care about each other a lot. She is not the gossiping, backstabbing type. So in the long run, there are a few gems and there are some great rewards. I wouldn't take back my experience ever, even if it has been a bit dramatic and annoying at times. And I would say it's about time for me to stop my rant :P

You can't fake that kind of chemistry

Kissing is fun. I think everyone who has ever kissed anyone can agree with that. Well, almost. I mean, some people are really bad kissers and can leave a bad impression. But that's not what I'm getting at. Every once in a while you kiss someone and it is way more than just four lips touching. More than just two people sharing a romantic moment. It's fireworks, sparks, all that cheesy Harlequin crap. And kissing that person pretty much ruins kissing anyone else for you. No other kiss afterwards will be quite as thrilling. Because when you're standing outside your front door after a perfect date, standing on your tiptoes to reach their lips and pressing your body against theirs as you experience one of the best kisses in your life, you feel that kiss everywhere. That kiss is not just in the lips. It reaches down to your toes. It makes your head spin. It makes you never want to come up for air. It makes you realize, in that instant, what everyone is talking about when they talk about having chemistry with someone. And when you walk away, you are still so affected by that kiss that you can't quite walk straight. And once it's all over, whether it was a summer fling that naturally came to an end or a bad breakup that left both of you crushed, you never forget that kiss. You crave the chemistry that you felt with that person and are afraid you will never find again. You believe you would give just about anything to kiss them one more time, just to feel that fire race through your body at that mere touch and the tingle that reaches all the way to your fingers and toes when they pull you in close. And until finally, one day, you do forget the sensation of that person's lips on yours, no other kiss will compare to theirs.

How am I supposed to find a title for this?

He died about four years ago right around this time. I guess I don't really have much to say anymore, because I didn't know him that well to begin with. It was just a high school crush. But I felt the need to at least say something, just to remember him for a minute. I never thought that I would get over losing him, over the pain of someone passing away far too young. I mean, he was only 19. I do still think about him now and then, but it doesn't hurt anymore. Time really does heal everything.


R.I.P. Ryan M.

Happy? What's that?

I smiled today for the first time in a long time. Ok well that's not technically true. I force a smile every day, all day. But today I was on my way home from class and a song came on my iPod that I really like. And after a few seconds I realized that I was smiling. And that I was genuinely happy. And then when I was watching TV I laughed out loud and found the jokes actually funny.

Usually I wouldn't think twice about these things. But lately I have been so down that it was kind of monumental today. And realizing that I was happy made me even more happy.

Anyways. Maybe not interesting or entertaining, but I felt a need to put this into writing so I would remember today :) That's all.

Incest is Subjective

Ok, according to the law, it isn't. But I do have a point. It seems that most people end up having someone in their lives that they consider a brother or a sister even though they are not related. But then what happens when you grow up and realize that you are perfect for each other? That no one knows you quite like they do? That you may not have realized it before, but wow, they look damn fine. That's when things get complicated. I mean, it's practically incest!

So let me back up. Seventh grade. New Kid at school walks in the door. He's the hottest thing since Dave became basketball captain last month. Everyone wants him. And he wants you. It's great. Or at least it should be, but you're too wrapped up in Billy to notice that New Kid wants you. That's pretty much the beginning of my story. There's a whole lot more to that part of it, but that's not the point right now.

Despite my idiocy and inability to recognize that he was actually interested in me, New Kid and I became really good friends. The kind of friend that lasts. Sometime in eighth grade, his family had some troubles and we offered the extra rooms in our house to them because we had become pretty close with them. New Kid had a brother, Tattoos, that was in my sister's grade. They also had two younger siblings, and their mom was pretty close with my mom. They lived with us for a couple weeks where we all became even closer. They became our family. So fastforward to the present day.

New Kid has a girlfriend, so no, that's not where this is going. Bet that's what you thought, wasn't it? Well you were wrong. Tattoos. Is. Hot. He grew up quite well. And I am lucky enough work with him when I am home over the summer. And it seems that we tend to be on the same page quite often when it comes to troubles with the opposite sex. And there is definitely some flirtatiousness when summer rolls around and work gets boring. But it all comes down to incest. It would be so weird for us to be together because he's practically my brother. His family is my family. So I will continue to admire from afar, and one of these days we'll both find someone and we will both be happy and I will forget all about my incestuous thoughts. And plus, if we did end up together, then Florida Bitch would be my sister-in-law. And THAT is just not acceptable.